You can think whatever you want of me. But, you know. What you think doesn't really matter to me. What i think matters to me. You can call me stupid and dramatic  or you might say i'm seeking attention.. but.. you know... i dont..care... to everyone that has an opinion of me. Let me be honest. i don't care. There are those select few whom i would die for. You can wonder if you're one of them....  but thats all you can do. is wonder.

I've done so much stuff that i wish i hadn't done. the only love i ever knew i threw it all away. I'm a horrible person and i just... i don't really know what else to say except. you really don't know how amazing something is until you really.... truely... lose it.... knowing you can never get it back. i can't even... use words to explain myself as fully as i wish i could. The only way you can really express your self is through action and... i think i've done enough of that.

Eyes are feeling heavy but they never seem to close
The fan blades on the ceiling spin but the air is never cold
And even though you are next to me I still feel so alone
I just can't give you anything for you to call your own

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating?
My heart's sinking like a weight

Something I've been keeping locked away behind my lips
I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss
I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now
Things that I was sure of, they have filled me up with doubt

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating?
My heart's sinking like a weight

I can feel you breathing
It's keeping me awake
Could you stop my heart? It's always beating.
Sinking like a weight

How am I supposed to feel about the things I've done?
I don't know if I should stay or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you, things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew, I threw it all away

And I can feel you breathing
And it's keeping me awake
Can you feel it beating?
My heart's sinking like a weight

I can feel you breathing
It's keeping me awake
Could you stop my heart? It's always beating.
Sinking like a weight

 i think i'll feel like this for a while. but hey.. you know.. i brought it on myself.

I ruined it. I ruined him. I ruined everything. I guess i'm just a destroyer or whatever the word. But i don't care what  you think of me i care what i  think of me. And what he think of me. some one hurt me. i wnat to feel lwhat it feels like to be hurt by someone else.

pigeon

Hey every one. This is meh. Liana. DUH! well yeah my computer doesn't work but i'm using a laptop and our computer screen. Don't ask. lol. well ok. This weekend was so awesome. Saw Corey. I am so much better than i use to be. I think i needed to be reminded of him or whatever.  but yeah. I heart him and seeing him is all that obviously truely makes me happy.

Imma do ballet. Anyone who has anything bad to say about it can kiss my middle finger!! er i mean... ugh. whatever home four legged animal. but yeah imma be a ballerina...(sp?) heh.

well to Corey.

Another turning point a fork stuck in teh road.
Tom grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this task and don't ask why
It's nto a question but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable but in teh end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
SO take the photographs and still frames in your mind. 
Hang them on a shelf in good health and good times.
Tatoos and memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth it was worth all the while.
Its somethign unpredictable but in teh end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It's somethign un predictable but in teh end it's right.
I hope you had teh tiemof your life.

I LOVE YOU AAF SWEETS!

-Pigeon lili

Everything brings me back. EVERYTHING! ugh. I wish i didn't have to go back. Maybe if i found safety for the past two days I'd be better. ::shrug:: i guess i'm just lazy. Why can't i fix this crack, eh? It's like... i'm broken.. even though i'm not. .. grr... eck. Snow. Blink 182. EVERYTHING! Especially Green Day. It's like i can't find happiness in ANYTHING!

So much to say that just can't be said.

So much to love that just can't be loved.

So much to give that just can't be given.

So much to say that just can't be said.